Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day thoughts from a PhD wanna-be

My Dad has always been my biggest fan.


















I had him for a teacher in the 4th grade. (I'm the one with the cool bow and dark glasses...)

My sister and I remember a wall he had right above the water fountain. It was covered in stars and planets and we each had a spaceship that was our own.  The saying in the midst of the stars that my Dad cut out said, "Shoot for the stars".  It was such a little saying - on a little wall - above a little water fountain - read by little fourth graders - in little unseen moments.  But, I would dare to say it had a profound impact.
















I remember that wall. I remember that saying. I tell people about that wall and that saying when they ask me why I wanted to pursue a PhD. And, what helped me get over my fear of actually doing it. 

My Dad has also always been by biggest steadying factor.  I remember certain conversations watching a storm roll in on our front porch.  Or listening to the night in the swing on the back porch.  I remember trying to pick his brain on what is the meaning of life and what I needed to do with my life and who am I in this life (poor guy - I was kindof a deep kid sometimes...).  I remember a conversation we had when I was trying to decide on getting my PhD.  The conversation started out with his typical, "Oh Emily" in a very compassionate voice - I don't really remember the rest of the conversation except it was stabilizing for me.  It was a gentle pushing - a gentle letting go - and a gentle "shoot for the stars".

Now, i'm 32 and in a PhD program that sometimes scares the bajeebies out of me and is very far away from my Dad.  Yet the little saying that seemed to guide his life and guide mine and my sister's life is still with me.  Dad, I will continue to shoot for the stars because of your impact.  Thanks for riding in the spaceship with me.
















Daddeo, these reasons do not begin to touch on the profound impact you have had on me and continue to have on me.  Nor do they begin to tell you how much I love you. But I thought i'd try. =)













Love you and happy Father's Day!
-Emi

And if you want to feel nostalgic here are other Father's Day excerpts.  Grab your tissues!
 2011 - Click here
2010 - Click here
2009 - Click here

No comments: