Sunday, January 30, 2011
Last week's Sabbath was a little different. It had been a difficult week of disappointments and lots on my mind so I don't think I entered Sabbath the same as the week before. In true "Sabbath" form, I stayed in my robe and house shoes All.Day.Long. But I kept asking Mike is that was ok, wanting to "look my best" for him to impress him or something. (And, the robe, no makeup, hair undone was not cutting it for my reassurrence.) The whole day was spent trying not to fret or worry or simply think. On to the week - this attitude carried over throughout the week too. Hmmm, this was definitely not Sabbath. Right?
Fast forward to this week. I entered Sabbath differently. I did not want a repeat of the last Sunday. And, I did not want a repeat of the week. So, I consciously tried to not worry and remind myself that Sabbath was about remembering and observing. And, breathing YHWH.
Mike preached on the prodigal son and God used that to tell me what he had been trying to tell me since last week. Sabbath is meant to be a remembering that we are sons and daughters Just.As.We.Are. It does not matter if my hair is not done, i'm still in my robe, I look like "3am" hit all day long. It is meant to be held in a divine embrace until we remember who we truly are.
Aww, breathe YHWH.
Accept the ring and clothing and feasts of the Father who runs to us. In an undignified, full-out run.
Accept the embrace of the Father. The kisses of the Father.
Do not say, "Let me be a servant and no longer your daughter."
Watch YHWH sprint to you.
And breathe in the embrace. The Divine Embrace.
The past two Sabbath's were certainly a gentle embrace. A reminder that I am ok just as I am. A reminder that I am ok just as I am to my husband who does not care what I look like (or don't look like, for that matter). A reminder that I am ok just as I am to an adorable two year old that just wants to run in the grass or dance and sing like noone in watching.
A reminder that I am ok just as I am on a Sabbath to, most importantly, the Breather of YHWH.
At the end of yesterday, as I was reflecting on the day with a glorious bubble bath and Sabbath candles, I asked Mike "Am I ok"? Essentially "Am I loved?"
"You are loved. Rest in that."
Perhaps, YHWH breathes the divine embrace through the words of the spouses He puts in our lives.
Perhaps, YWHW breathes the divine embrace through kisses from a snotty-nosed, curly-headed toddler.
Perhaps, these are gentle reminders of YHWH's Divine Embrace, His Breath.
(This is an old picture but it's one of my favorites!)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
In all of these dreams and wants and hopes I have, I am reminded that I have no idea what's to come. And, that's ok. Sort of. I am still waiting on PhD applications to come through as admissions or rejections. So, it's definitely hard to wait and trust. It's hard to be patient. But one day at a time, one year at a time, one decade at a time - I truly believe that we serve a God who is so good. And He has been so good to me over the past decade by giving me a great husband to walk through life with, adorable children, great family, great friends and mentors, and great work experiences and training. At the end of my 20s, I was met with lots of thankfulness - Knowing so far He has been so good. And I have a sneaky suspicion that that will continue. Isn't that part of His Character?!? =)
For my birthday, Mike and I were going to drop off Bella and go camping in Houston. wahooo!! I woke up that morning with the sniffles but didn't think too much of it. However, since we were going to spend alot of time in the great outdoors with the lows in the 40s at night, I decided to call my OB. She had me come in and do a quick strep swab "just to make sure". But we both agreed it wasn't strep since I wasn't feeling bad at all, no fever, no sore throat, no classic signs of the diagnosis. We decided to pack and head onto Houston. We dropped Bella off with the grandparents and off we were. 30 minutes out of the campsite the OB called and said, "Well, your test was positive!" What? I didn't feel bad at all! Thankfully she had given me an antiobiotic "just in case". I started on that and we decided that having strep and sleeping in the great outdoors was probably not wise, especially since I was pregnant. Detour!
We were very close to Houston so we decided to make the best of it and go "camping" in the city. I found a great hotel rate on my iphone and booked it, having no idea what to expect! We drove the Galleria area and ended up at the DoubleTree Suites Hotel. Wait, wait. It gets better. Our room was 300 SQUARE FEET of a HUGE bedroom, full kitchen, living room and dining room. Uhm, camping and "roughin' it"? Yes please! hehe!
So, we arrived in our camping attire to this 5 star hotel, got settled, and headed to the Galleria to eat, albeit still in our camping attire. We went to the Cheesecake Factory (yes, roughin' in again), got dessert to go and went back to the hotel since my throat was actually hurting a little by this time. We got a movie in the room and slept in a real bed, instead of on the ground in a sleeping bag.
Remember we had packed to go camping so we had an ice chest packed with food for the weekend. So, the next morning we cooked eggs and pancakes in our kitchen and ate in the dining area. Ha! We did a little shopping in the Galleria, had a great lunch, went to bookstores, and just had a great time of being with one another. Although it wasn't what we had planned, it was a great time of simply being "there". It's amazing what 18 hours will do! After that, we made our way to Houston to spend the night with his parents and go see Bella. The mother-in-love, being her awesome self, made dinner and a cake for me.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I'm still craving meat and cheese, like I did with Bella. But I also crave vegetables and big salads at strange times and those cravings are increasing. Hmmm, with a little girl I craved the meat/potatoes and with our little boy I'm craving salads? weird! Bella ate three pieces of cheese last night before bedtime so we'll see if our little man wants to eat 13 carrots before bedtime.
Here's an updated picture. I'm 5 pounds lighter at this point than I was with Bella. I'm not eating or exercising differently. So, it must be because the little man is moving so much. (Sorry about the quality of this picture. It was taken with my phone since our main camera is out of juice.)
And here's where I was with Bella. Did I really have my hair that short? Do y'all like it? (Come on you blog stalkers...feel free to comment away!)
People are FINALLY coming up and asking me if i'm pregnant. "YES!!!!". Then they ask if we're about 3 months. booo! All kidding aside, he is healthy and I am healthy so all is well in the Smith Household.
At our 6 month doctors appointment all of our measurements and heartbeats went great! Our doctor went to find his heartbeat and he kicked the doppler! When he did his heart rate spiked to 160 and then came back down to the normal 140. She was impressed by this because typically babies don't do that type of activity until 7-8 months. Little over-achiever!
And lastly, we've taught Bella how to say "Hi Bro" and she'll wave to my stomach. She can say brother but i'm teaching her "bro" since it's more ghetto. ha! Can I get a what what up in heaareer?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Little Miss in a chair that was my grandmother's.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
When we returned from the movie, mom had put two braids in Bella's hair like she used to put in mine and Allison's. So sweet but it made her look too old!
Bella and Granddad playing with the birds on the little tree.
One of Bella's presents was a ginormous tiger! Dad said it was comical when they bought it. Just imagine a huge tiger sticking out of a basket!
Bella sure did enjoy it!
We had Christmas dinner the first night we were there. Bella sat in between my parents and would reach over to "steal" Granddad's napkin. She is so michevious! She would make this "innocent" face as she would put it behind her back or sit on it.
Then she would put her hands out and say, "Where'd it go?"
"Oh no, where'd it go, Granddad"
There it is!
Bella seriously played this game the entire meal. She thought she was so sneaky.
Most every night we were there, we would have a dance party after dinner. Mike and Granddad were the first to join in the fun and all would do the same dance moves. I love family!