New mommies - Do you ever have those days of just feeling like you don't know what you're doing? We had Bella's 15 month checkup today and today is one of those times. "Whoa, you're still breastfeeding? Why? Have you started her on whole milk? Does she drink 16 ounces of liquid a day - some from a sippy cup? Can she....Does she...Has she...."
What? Wait, i'm trying to learn here. I must have missed those memos. Flouride drops? Zinc supplements? Pronouncing West Virginia correctly when you say it to her? Spelling retrospective frontwards and backwards?
Uhm, sometimes I just want to give a business card that says "I have no idea what i'm doing". We've come a long way from figuring out the diaper stuff and when to feed or sleep or play. But, I still catch myself thinking that i'm way behind the curve on mommy-knowledge. Maybe there's a pill that the other mommies have taken called the "confident-in-all-I-do" pill. Or maybe we are all in the same boat. Either way, being a working mom makes it tough for times like this. I can't go to play dates with other moms to ask "is this normal" because I work. And, I can't do the morning times at church with the other new moms to ask "is this normal" because I work. Don't get me wrong. I love my job and am very thankful for the flexibility my job gives me to be a mom and stay at home some days. And, i'm very thankful for the hubster who will stay at home and take care of Bella while he's studying. (I've said it before but I do think he's changed more diapers than I have. And, he is the one in the family to clip her nails.) So, i'm very thankful for our current situation. I think I just feel like an island. And, the other moms took their pill and introduce milk at an appropriate age or get their kid to drink from a sippy cup at 3 weeks old.
I wish there were play dates for working moms. Or church get togethers for working moms. Or maybe a book that lets you know exactly what to do. But, then where would motherhood be? Where would the comedy be in all the mistakes we make? And, where would the fun be when you see your daughter decide to go to the bathroom on the floor when her daddy is getting the bathtub ready (happened last night). Or when you find a stuffed animal and your measuring cups underneath your pots or in her toybox.
So, today is one of those days. And, the appointment was one of those appointments. I'm sure i'm not the only one who's thought of inventing the mommy pill either.
1 day ago
10 comments:
Oh boy.. I'm so sorry. I wish I knew or had some advice.
I feel like I need an "Adult" pill much less a mommy pill...
Let me know all that you learn!
you are certainly not the only one! there are more days than I thought possible to have in 14 months where I feel like I have missed the "mommy memo." Actually, I forget to give Grace milk all the time and forgot (until I read your post) that she even has a 15 month checkup! So carry on sister, keep loving that little girl and picking up the pieces along the way. You are doing an amazing job and I believe full well that God bestows ample amounts of grace on new mommys!
Just wait until she's a teenager!!!!!! They don't make pills for that either!!!!!
My advice, don't worry about all the "little" stuff. You are not alone. I remember when i couldn't get Madison off of a bottle for anything, and everytime I went to the doctor I got a slap on the wrist, and left feeling like a terrible mom. FInally, I came to realize that you have to find what works for you and you little one! If Madison would take her milk in the bottle, and sleep all night then that worked for me. Eventually one day she took a sippy and wanted nothing to do with the bottle anymore!!!! Hang in there. I don't know if any of us will fully figure this mothering thing out, but it sure is fun to try!
I completely agree with you with the working mom thing. It's like everybody thinks that moms stay at home and that none of us work. I really struggled with this for a long time. I have finally found a mom's group that meets once a month in the evenings, but it still not the same as what SAHMs get. Keep strong and you will make it through!
Emily you breastfeed her as long as you want! The World Helth Org recomends you brestfeed until two! None of us knows if what we are doing is the best for our baby. Heck I broke down last night because my little bugger won't sleep in his own bed and I just don't know what to do.
You are a wonderful mommy!! I have Farrah's 12month appt in a couple of weeks and I'm stessing because she will NOT take a sippy but then I have to realize she will not be a baby forever and when she is ready she will figure out a sippy. Don't sweat the small stuff just enjoy today!
Emily, I'm confident that your post summed up the thoughts of all working moms! Because I too feel like I don't know what I should be doing or what Abby should be doing at 17 months, I try to read the "what to expect" books. The beginning of each chapter gives you what the child should be able to do and what they might be able to accomplish if they are ahead in an area. The rest of the chapter is easy to scan and pick out what you want to read if you have a specific question. I always make sure look over at least the beginning right before the doctor's appointment so I can have a "head's up" on all the questions they are going to ask.
Hope this helps! I'm sure you're doing a great job!
You just keep doing what you are doing! You have something that the Dr. doesn't have...mother's intuition. There is a whole lot to be said for it. Plus, what the Dr. is giving you is guidelines, not rules. You make the rules, your child, your house... You are the one that looks into those precious eyes everyday and knows what she is thinking. Don't give way to doubting yourself.
As your new official doctor duty, PLEASE come up with a mommy pill!! And then I'll buy a whole bottle! :)
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