Lent - Smack-dab Love

I come from non-denominational/Baptist/Methodist stock.  So, I didn't know anything about Lent until maybe a couple of years ago. And even then, it was very elementary.  The little I knew included that people gave stuff up - like chocolate or meat or Starbucks.  I thought that was it.  The more I heard of people observing Lent, the more confused I was about it.  Lent became more of a diet fad than maybe what it was supposed to be.  It became more of simply giving something up.  That may be a part. But it is certainly not what is it all about - at least for me it's not.  Isn't it bigger than a diet?

This year, I needed Lent.  We've been uprooted from our family and roots in Texas to North Carolina. And while we are extremely thankful for being here and the community we now have, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard not being to escape to the parents house for a quick weekend trip. Or have them come up for a few years "just because".  Now that i'm in school, it's hard because - well - school is stinkin' hard!  So, this "season" of our life right now is busy and we are seeking our new rhythm in the Kingdom and just in normal every-day life.

As Lent was approaching this year, I felt a stirring in my heart that I wanted to do it.  And more that I needed to do it. On Tuesday, I asked some hard questions of what I wanted at the end of Lent. What was Lent all about for me?  I wanted to know what the resurrection really meant.  I wanted to know what the dying and death preceding the resurrection meant. I wanted to know the purpose of Lent.  Why give up something for the sake of giving up something? I wanted something more.

So, I set out on Tuesday with a plan for how I would observe Lent. A non-denominational/Baptist/Methodist descendent trying to observe a liturgy that was very foreign to these traditions.  I decided what I would give up. I decided what I would do when times got hard. I envisioned what I wanted resurrection Sunday to feel like.

Fast forward to today. And I had already failed in one of my fasts.  Not fall-on-your-face fail. But fail enough where I knew it. And God knew it. And my heart felt like a failure.

And then I was met with the realization that dying takes time. Death comes in an instant. But dying takes time.  So perhaps these 40 days are about dying. It's certainly not about perfection.  It's about taking up my cross daily and following hard after Him.  I have heard Him say "Seek my face" and I want to respond like the Psalmist, "Yes Lord, your face I will seek".  Daily seeking. Daily walking. Daily observing.

One of the readings for this morning included " now my longing meets your love".  I think that may be what Lent is about.  My longing, my floundering, my attempt at walking, my journeying, my giving-up-for-the-sake-of-Him is met with Love.  And not just any Love.  A steadfast Love.

I went running this morning, which isn't atypical as I love to run.  It was dark and I was praying and thinking a lot so I didn't realize I was looking at the ground in front of me. I only noticed the two feet in front of me until I ran smack-dab into a trash can. I'm glad it was 5:30am, y'all.  Embarrassing!  I started running again and thought back to what I read 20 minutes earlier - "now my longing meets your love".  My longing, my floundering, my attempt at walking, my journeying, my fasting meets His Love.  And sometimes it needs to run smack-dab into it so I am completely stopped and stilled. Stopped by His Love. Stilled by His Love.  My longing had met His Love.  His Steadfast Love. 

I made a little Lent tree.  It's not elaborate or probably not even very cool. But it's a tree with twigs from my front yard.  Every night i'm going to write something I held onto that day to remind me of the dying or resurrection or the walk or simply Jesus.  We'll see what is collected on that tree in 39 days.  I am excited. I am nervous. But I know I won't be disappointed.

So tonight I wrote my little something on a torn up index card to hang on my tree.  It said simply, "My longing meets your steadfast love - smack-dab on".  I needed that reminder.  And I continue walking. Daily walking and longing after what Lent is all about.

4 years ago today.....

4 years ago today.....I found out I was pregnant.  You can read about it all again HERE.  But, I vividly remember freaking out over my lunch break, carrying the test in a ziploc bag to work so I could "make sure it was still positive" - yes, oh yes, I did.  Just in case, y'all. You know. Maybe it was wrong and then it would turn negative or something. Well, it didn't. And I had to hide it from Mike for two days.  I was so cranky those two days too - poor hubby!  But then I broke the news on Valentine's Day and our life has never been the same.

Fast forward four years....and we have a spunky, energetic, healthy,  lively, compassionate, empathetic, go-getter little gal' named Bella Grace Smith.  My my, how four years certainly changes things.  We had no idea what we were doing or what we were getting into or how we would learn to be parents.  But, this little thing came into our life that taught us what to do and what to get into and how to be parents.

As I write this you and your daddy are singing songs before you go to bed - you're singing "Grace Grace, God's Grace", "Jesus loves me", "Twinkle, Twinkle", and "Blessed Be".  You are also singing "Hallelujah" which was the very first song your daddy taught you.  We definitely agree with the theme of that song - praising God for what we have in you!  Sweet Bella, you were loved four years ago (yes, even when yo' mama was freaking out a little bit) and you certainly still are! 

A Grandparent's Poem

Grandparents are like honeybees;
They are the very sweetest.
They give you hugs and kisses,

And their stories are the neatest.

The honey they produce
Is more valuable than gold,

For this honey is the lessons
That we lovingly are told.

Grandparents want the best for us
And say we can achieve

Any goal that we have set,
If only we believe.

They help us spread our wings
So when we leave our honeycomb ,
We'll make the right decisions
Though we be away from home.

Yes, grandpas are like silver,

And grandmas are a gem,

But better than one hundred diamonds
Are the things I learn from them. - By Alyssa Marie Bentham

Baby rolls

I'm not sure why but I LOVE these pictures. I know one day he'll grow out of these baby rolls.  I'm not ready for that day when he starts walking and then running and then gets skinny. I LOVE baby rolls - who doesn't!  They are so sweet and squishy and babyish!  I might be a little obsessed with them.  But look at him y'all!  You know you are too.

Hope you enjoyed!

JT's first bite of food - aka - this did not go well!

Muscle Man hasn't had any type of food other than milk - so we thought it might be time to try to introduce some other food to him. Remember when we did that with Bella? You can go here to check it out.

Anyways, back to Mr. Picky!  He had no idea what was coming.  I was ready with the camera while daddy fed him a little bite of applesauce.

Uh, not so sure about this.

And, he started gagging.

Ok, daddy's making funny noises and faces.  Maybe he'll like it now?

More funny faces to try to win him over...

NOPE! No win!

"Daddy's trying to show me how to open my mouth. I will NOT do that!"

Yuck!

After applesauce, bananas, and rice cereal we gave up.  This is how JT ended the night. He would NOT open his mouth. Needless to say, Mike and I were rolling with laughter watching his expressions. Oh well, we'll try again later.

JT update - 9 months

Little man is just growing!  He is still as cute as can be - and is getting a little attitude. Last week was his "firsts" tantrum when Mike wouldn't let him get to something he shouldn't have.  uh oh!

But most of the time he is very happy. Seriously, happy!  If Mike is holding him, JT will make eye contact with me until I look at him. And then just smile.  Adorable!

He now has 6 teeth. 4 on top and 2 on bottom. Hence, his tongue is out all the time - unless he has something in his mouth - which seems like all the time too.

Little guy has been army crawling for a while but is finally crawling with his knees and hands.  He doesn't do it much though because he is so quick just scooting!

He had his first bite of anything other than milk the other day and did.not.like.it!  I have a post coming up later this week dedicated to that. It did not go well at all!

This was his sister's toy that he now gets to play with.  Nostalgia!

Bella was very serious even as a baby and could focus on one toy for a long time.  He can do that too but most of the time he would rather smile.

See, smiling...

And, again.

Here's our GAP model trying to decide if he wants to look at the book or chew on it.

Look at those teeth. They HURT when he bites!

Bella and I had a tea party the other day and he came and knocked it all over. After an initial "MOMMM!!!" from Bella, she was ok and let him play.

He is now fully in 18-24 month clothing-mostly 24.

His hair is coming in and I still think it's red.  I love to make it stick up with baby lotion right after his bath - poor little guy! hehe!

JT, you are such a joy to us!

Bella update - 3 years and a quarter

Our little gal is just growing up!  She continues to amaze us with how stinkin' smart she is - and how witty she is - and tenacious - and spirited - and tenacious...

You get the picture.  She is so full of personality right now and I have a feeling that will just continue to increase as she gets older.

She still loves pink and purple. She says those are her "favorites".  Speaking of "favorites", she likes to let us know what those are lately.  Her favorite princess is Cinderella, her favorite thing to eat is peanut butter/jelly "samwich", her favorite cartoon is Dinosaur Train, and last but certainly not least she called me her favorite yesterday AND today.  Score!!! That's a big deal because she's always been a huge Daddy's gal.

She still enjoys singing and will get a rag to sing while she cleans. It's not just any singing though. She pretends like she's singing opera or something - she's seen Snow White so she's singing like her - vibrato and all!

She likes school again. We went through a little rough patch where she did not like school at all.  She moved up in her class so it was the transition that got her upset.  But now she knows her teacher and classmates and is A-ok with going again. Phew, that makes me happy.

She knows all of her letters - capitalized and smaller case. She knows most of the sounds they make.  And, she knows a little arithmetic.  She can count 2+4 or 2+3 or 3+5. 

She knows what a gigantosauras and a microrapter are. 

She can make her "Brudder" smile more than anyone.  She likes to say "tickle tickle" to him and watch him crack up laughing.

This is right before we went to see "Beauty and the Beast" in 3D. I may or may not have gotten all choked up a couple of times during the movie.  It was my favorite growing up so it was special to be able to take her. She did so great too and say in my lap the whole time. Again, score!

Here we are having a tea party in the living room.  We made strawberry cake over and over and over...i'm glad it wasn't real though. We would have consumed way too much sugar that day.  Notice her outfit? That's what she wants every.single.day - pink dress, glass slippers, crown,  jewelry.  And then she'll dance.

She'll also ask for things by saying, "Mommy, wanna dance to me?", "Mommy, wanna play to me?", "Mommy, wanna hold my hand?"  Well of course I want to hold you hand!  Housework and/or homework can wait if i'm being asked by a certain 3 year old to hold her hand and dance.  We have lots of family dance parties lately.  Or today we played "Follow the leader" while we sang the song from Peter Pan.  She loved it and told her Daddy a couple of times, "this is fun!".  Awww, the joy of childhood. 

Progression of crawling/pulling up

Our little man has got this scooting-crawling-army-crawl-scooting thing down. He also loves to go to the fireplace.

Army crawl - scoot - army crawl - scoot

Scoot - reach - scoot - reach

Pull up - grunt like a man - pull up some more

Stand - grunt - stand

Pat the fireplace - look at the fire - exhale or laugh or maybe grunt - or toot

Wonder if mom will let you keep going...

Nope - busted!

And, this concludes this rendition of "Progression of crawling/pulling up".