2 weeks:
Three trips to the labor and delivery department before Jonathan was born.
We had a healthy baby boy!
Jonathan was rehospitalized for jaundice.
I made three more trips to the L&D department after Jonathan was born.
To say the least, the last 2 weeks have been eventful. I've been having problems with my blood pressure (hence, the trips to L&D to get them to come down through medication) regulated because of the pre-eclampsia that are just scary and not fun and have brought on lots and lots of tears. Throw in the pregnancy hormones and I cry alot. Also, throw in a baby having to be readmitted into the NICU (LOTS of tears were shed on the way to the hospital and in the hospital) and I have cried even more. It was a bit surreal with Jonathan having to go into the NICU. We were able to stay the night with him, thankfully, but it was just heart wrenching to see him under the bilirubin lights, stripped down to his diaper, with a mask over his eyes. With that said, we were fully aware that our son wasn't near as sick as the other babies that were in the NICU. Yet, it was still scary and we both had lots of tears. When they put Jonathan's mask on, he was not too happy about it. We couldn't hold him because he was under the lights. At this point, i'm really weary and sit on the bed. Then Mike starts singing 'Because He Lives' and i'm a mess again. Mike quiets him with his singing and seems to quiet me too.
Jonathan was released the next day and we're still going back in every other day to monitor his bilirubin. He is also a preemie so he's having a hard time keeping his body temperature high enough. The nurse told us that below a certain level is considered hypothermia and he had reached that. So we've (Mike and I) been doing lots of kangaroo care and warming up lots and lots of blankets in the dryer. He has been an eskimo man the whole week and will soon learn to love the thermometer, since we're taking it every three hours.
I just got back from another trip to L&D and will go see my OB tomorrow to think about additional medication. I have certainly been so thankful for good medical care, a great OB, a very loving, calming, and always-there husband and a supportive family.
To say I was ok would be lying. I've had a rough two weeks. And it's still hard and scary. Tears and fears and prayers and worries have been around. But so have very special moments of nursing and watching Bella get excited when we come in the door and quiet moments of watching Jonathan sleep on his daddy and seeing Jonathan smile for the first time in his sleep. The hymn, Because He Lives, certainly does speak true. I'm not in the NICU anymore. We are home and sweet Jonathan is falling asleep as he eats right now. But the same feeling of reassurance is here just like it was when Mike sang it the first time in the hospital. Thank you Lord for the reminder.
God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.Because He lives, All fear is gone!Because I know He holds the futureAnd life is worth the living just because He lives!