In no particular order, I give you the dichotomies of today...
Being a mom includes:
Teaching your child to go to sleep independently - but, rocking her during her last feeding of the day after bathtime and the oh-so-fabulous smell of baby lotion. When she falls asleep and I keep rocking for oh about an hour - bliss!
Watching your child play independently as she explores the world of colors, shapes, sizes, and the occasional TV remote, shoe, book, or other "toy" she can crawl to and grab - but, snatching her up to get big, wet kisses! (Yes, these are slobbering-full mouth-tongue out kisses - precious! I'll take the occasional zit this causes any day!)
Seeing your child stand up and prepare to walk by herself into exciting adventures of exploration - but, getting hugs before the "wiggles" away to continue walking.
Seeing your child laugh and clap and play with nothing more than the air around her (she seems to spontaneously laugh which is one of the greatest joys so far!)and all the tupperware tops in the kitchen - but, laughing with her until you both can't take it any more.
Asking yourself "Am I doing this right?" and "What do I do now?" and "Oh my goodness, they don't have a book about this do they?" - but, enjoying the sweet times of reassurrance when she giggles from getting zerberts and oobers amount of lovin'.
Teaching her how to clap (she can do that) and wave (we're working on that) and play pic-a-boo (see below) - and, seeing her catch on (kindof) to her new skills. ("Mom, is this how you do it?" 1. Hide behind shirt/object/hands, 2) Lower shirt/object/hands, 3) Squeal, 4) Stick out your tongue as far as you can, 5) Smile, 6) Squeal again, 7) Melt the parents heart, 8) Ok, i'm done, 9) Squirm away or repeat)
Going to work at a fab job - but, coming home to this sweetie-pie.
Watching her smile and make noises and try to "mimic" your facial expressions - but, letting her make her own silly-faces and crazy noises/squeals/screams.
There certainly have been lots of times of questioning and times where I just want to sleep or read (that's for another blog post). However, I continue to be amazed at how much I am loving being a mom. Considering I didn't really "like" kiddos or babysitting growing up and Bella was my first diaper change EVER I am pleasantly surprised at how much I love being a mom to Bella. Considering I love my job and research and writing and what I "do" outside of the home and wondered if I could really have it all (aka. being a working mom [I use "working" loosely because all moms are "working" regardless if they stay home or work outside of the home]). I am pleasantly surprised at how I still love to work and research and have ambitions for my PhD one day...while loving coming home to take care of Bella and putting my apron on to make homemade bread and cleaning my home (Mike is great at doing these things too since we enjoy an egalitarian relationship - I just enjoy doing these things! Just ask him - sometimes I get upset when he cleans the kitchen since it's one of my favorite things to do at the end of the day...I know, i'm weird).
So, I know I've said it before but being a mom has not been what I read about in the books and certainly not what I had in my mind. It's full of wonderful dichotomies that i'm sure will only continue to get more challenging and rewarding.
The End.
7 comments:
Love the pictures - and this is only the beginning! You'll have countless moments of joy so full you can't stand it and lots of WOWS among other things. Enjoy. And thanks for sharing. Bella's a blessed little one to have such a great mom and dad!
you are a great mom--just like I knew you'd be. How precious.
Love Love this post and the progression of "Real Life" photos.. thank you for being a stalker..and coming forward...say hi from now on K :)
I love that quote...I find myself not truly being in the moment with my kids...this post and that quote give me a goal for me weekend.
Thank you!!
Hugs- Mel
I wrote one comment, but dad and I were talking about what a great writer you've become, as well as the great photography skills you two have developed. What a subject! I love this series of you playing with her. makes me a little sad that those times with you and Allison are gone, but such fun memories as I often recount to you guys. You will do it also. I loved all the details and the "big words". Way to go. Oh how we love you guys and thanks for sharing this with all of us. I get so many comments from my friends.
She is cutie! I am sure you are a fabulous mom, especially since you were a really neat person in college. Hope life is treating you really well.
She is a cutie. You were a really neat person in college. I am sure you are a great mother. What a joy in life they are. Hope life is treating you really well.
it's refreshing to read that someone else had reservations about being a mom. I too admit that I was nervous about the working (outside the home) and the juggling the mommy and wife roles.
God's master plan is always perfect! I share your feelings... love going to a job I love but can't wait to get home to play with my adorable little girl then spoil my hubby.
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