Grief

As many of you who follow the blog will remember, Emily has been pregnant with our second child for around 12 weeks. This past Wednesday, we found out that we lost the baby. The doctor said that it was probably a chromosomal defect that couldn't have been prevented because the baby died several weeks ago. Needless to say, the rest of our week has been difficult.

Thankfully, we have great friends and family. My (Mike's) parents were able to come down for a few days to watch after Bella, and Allison, Emily's sister, has been gracious enough to watch her for the past couple of afternoons. These kind acts have made it possible for Emily and I to process and distract ourselves while knowing that our kiddo is in good hands. Thanks so much to our families for helping out in this way.

We have also received many nice emails and messages from friends who have heard the news. A couple even offered to bring meals. We are so thankful for your thoughts and prayers. Please understand that it has been difficult for us to respond back to the majority of those emails and phone calls as we go through this. However, those thoughts and prayers have not gone unnoticed and are so appreciated.

As for Emily and me, things are still tough. It's been quite a shift of mindset to realize that we're no longer expecting a baby. We've found over the past few days that we do expecting-a-baby things out of habit that are no longer necessary. These moments are sober reminders of our loss. Then there are also the times when we are overwhelmed with the lost possibilities of our baby. I had already begun to call her (I thought it was a girl) by a name, and it is at times devastating to realize that I'll never know her. Emily feels much the same, though I don't pretend to know the depth of a mother's pain.

In the end, I know we'll be okay. Things are hard at the moment, and I don't expect the circumstances to magically get better. Grief takes time, and I suspect that it will find us at times for a long time to come. But Emily and I also know that we are surrounded by good people who care for us deeply, and we believe that God grieves with us and is no stranger to our pain. We believe in His steadfast love even now and hope for the day when He will set everything to right. For the time being, we thank our friends and family for their help, thoughts, and prayers along the way.

Grace and peace,
Mike and Emily